when time travel is invented let’s be real we’re all just gonna go see closed broadway shows thirty times
50 years later…
lady gets mugged by motorcyclist while driving
My boss wanted to see my tattoo (the anti-possession one) today and he was like “What possessed you to get that?!” and I just
So I was laying down in bed with an excruciating headache when my boyfriend offered to make me a sandwich and I was like yeah sure please and then for some reason he got distracted and started to talk about something else and my head was pounding so I said “Cool story, babe. Now go make me a sandwich.” and he just literally looked at me with his mouth open before he finally said “You win this time” and went out to the kitchen
At long last after years of hearing this annoying joke coming from men’s mouths and overpriced shirts I get to say it to a guy.
Here’s a photo of the lil bitch where he belongs.He is going to kill me when he sees this already has like 40 freaking notes
let’s make this go viral*whispers* what have I done….
I showed him the notes and he said “oh god i’m gonna be a meme.”
Your boyfriend reminds me of my husband. We’ve been together for 9 1/2 years, married for 7.
You keep him. You keep him and you never let him go.
Apparently my boyfriend is the love child of Anton Chekhov and Harry Styles
The people have spoken
My hand slipped.
The Nice-Guy-McSandwhich-Meme, use it, please:
Oh my god I love you guys so much
( ._.)./ an explanation:
The dog has an issue where his esophagus doesn’t work right; it doesn’t get food in there right because it’s all stretched out and stuff. So what dog owners (and cat owners and I guarantee you the cat ones look goofier) do is make a highchair and feed them upright so gravity can be a hero. It’s also really cute.
The disorder is called Megaesophagus.
Here is a cat with the same disorder in his eatin’ sock.
ALWAYS REBLOG THE EATIN’ SOCK
when my dad was in college he had a friend who told a girl he’d take her on a date unlike any other she’d ever been on and so he took her to the supermarket to watch the lobsters fighting in the lobster tank
they’re married now